Hidden Scars and Bruises
by Love.Peace.Dramione.Inc
Summary: Ellie and Craig both try their best to hide deep secrets. They're both good at it until something happens that make them realize that they have more in common than they thought. Will they look to each other for help, or hide in shadows to forget their pas
1. A Beautiful Letdown

**Disclaimer: Don't own, nor claim to own. The only thing I own is Craig Manning's heart and soul. Mwhaha...reviews are more than welcome.**

**Chapter 1: A Beautiful Letdown**

"Craig, did you hear anything I just said?"

"W-what? Oh, yeah. I don't think you're fat, Manny." Craig Manning replied as he stared at Ellie Nash, but quickly turned his attention to his girlfriend.

"I am, though. I'll never be as skinny as I want to be." Manny said gloomily, feeling her stomach.

Craig rolled his eyes and shook his head. He hated when she got like this. It was not uncommon for her to be complaining about some "imperfection" about herself at least three times a day. He knew these types. Yup, these are the types of girls who say that they are huge when they are insanely skinny. Craig was more than familiar with them, but he put up with them for God knows why.

"Manny, if you were any skinner, you'd be dead. You've got to have more self-esteem but I know all the models brainwash you chicks to be anorexic-skinny. Don't you for one second believe you are fat, because you're not." He tried to persuade her.

Granted, Craig's girlfriend was somewhat fat but it was nothing compared to how overweight Terri had been. Manuela was nowhere near Terri had been.

Manny looked at her watch. "Oh god, Craig. I have to go. I promised someone I'd meet them somewhere."

Craig sighed, annoyed that this was happening more than four times a week. "Who the hell is this mysterious person that you go see? You can tell me if you're meeting Marco or Ashley or something..."

Manny shrugged. "It's just a person. Don't be so paranoid, Craiger. I still love you."

Craig shuttered. He despised when anyone called him Craiger. Since the passing of his dad, the nickname seemed to be burned into his brain and it just brought back all the horrible things his father had done to him.

"Manny, do me a favor and don't call me Craiger. Just go to your mysterious person and I'll see you tomorrow." He replied tensely.

She slowly nodded, looking almost hurt, but then kissed his cheek and exited the Dot.

Craig's eyes directed towards the direction of Ellie to see where she had gone. He noticed that she was sitting alone, besides the company of her Coke. He smiled and then walked over to her.

"Hey, Ellie. Do you mind if I sit down?"

She looked up at him with her emerald green eyes and smiled weakly. "Yeah, sure. Sit down, Craig."

He did as he was told and then drummed his fingers on the table, looking at her now and then.

"Is something wrong, Craig?" Ellie Nash asked, taking a sip of her coffee.

He sighed, not wanting to be a downer but realized he needed someone to talk to.

"I think...I think Manny is cheating on me. She goes out at least four nights a week to some unknown place that she never tells me, and I don't see her again until around ten. I doubt she's going out for some ice cream. Tell me honestly, should I be paranoid?"

Ellie looked up at him and shrugged. "I wouldn't worry until you see her with a hickey, or until she starts up with the line, 'I think I have to tell you something.'." Ellie said, looking back down at her drink as she played with her fingers.

He nodded. "Alright, thanks. Umm...what are you doing later?" Craig asked uncomfortably.

"I have to do my homework, and I'll probably end up taking care of my mom. With my dad gone, it's been really hard on her. We can hang out on Saturday if you're not busy with Manny."

"Alright, I doubt I'll be doing anything with Manny on Saturday. She has Fiesta day with her family on Saturdays and conveniently it lasts from the moment she wakes up until the moment she goes to bed." Craig chuckled.

Ellie joined him and smiled. "That is convenient. I'll stop by at Joey's house to pick you up and we can go to the mall or something."

Craig glanced at her arm warmers and nodded slowly. "Yeah, that sounds good."

He watched as she stood up and grabbed her backpack on one arm and grabbed her plastic coffee cup in the other.

"I'll see you then. Good luck with your girlfriend."

"Thanks. Good luck with your mom." He laughed softly.

Ellie nodded and chuckled. "Thanks, Craig. I'll need it." Without another word, she walked out, leaving Craig on his own.


	2. A Familiar Voice On The Other End

**Chapter 2: A Familiar Voice On The Other End**

_CRASH!_

Ellie's eyes snapped open and sighed, not having to guess what the cause of the sound was. It was a sound that was all too familiar to her. She contemplated whether or not she should go downstairs and help her mother. Chances were that she had gotten up to grab another bottle of vodka and it slipped out of her hand.

Reluctantly, she got out of bed and started to walk downstairs cautiously.

"Mom?"

Ellie continued to walk until she reached the living room and saw that her mom was just starting to lie back on the couch after she set the bottle of vodka on the coffee table beside her.

"I heard a crash...are-are you alright?"

"What...? Oh, I'm fine, Ellie. I just dropped the empty bottle...did you do your homework?" her mother slurred.

She nodded but realized her mother couldn't see her. "Yeah, umm...you told me that you were going to get help. When do you plan to do that?" Ellie asked lightly.

Her mother didn't reply but instead took a long drink from the bottle. "Your father called, Ellie. He said he'd call back sometime so you talk to him. You talk to your father..."

She rolled her eyes but was grateful that her Lieutenant Nash was still alive and well, and cared enough to keep calling. She walked into the kitchen to grab a snack and glanced at the calendar. Ellie wouldn't see Craig again until tomorrow and it seemed so long until then. She wasn't sure how long she could hang on.

Suddenly, the telephone rang. Almost simultaneously, Ellie heard her mother moan.

"Get that, Ellie!"

She quickly picked up the phone and breathed a sigh of relief when she heard the soft voice of her father.

"Hey Little El, how are you and your mom doing?"

Ellie slid down the wall of the kitchen and lowered her voice so her mom wouldn't hear her.

"I'm alright. Mom's doing okay, I guess. She's had her ups and downs but she's doing better," Ellie lied.

"That's good to hear, kiddo. I've been trying to get home early but it's been an impossibility for me. I swear to you that I'll be home for Christmas, alright?"

Ellie smiled weakly and nodded. "It's alright, dad. We just...we really miss you. How is it where you are?"

There was a long pause before he spoke again. "To be honest with you, Ellie...it's been horrible over here. At least three of my friends have been killed and wounded. It's not pretty over here, baby girl. I'll just be grateful when I'm out of here."

"I bet. Please come home safely, daddy."

"I'll try, sweetie. Can you put mom on the phone?"

Ellie looked over at her mother who looked passed out on the couch. "I don't think so. She's a bit busy right now. I'll tell her that you called."

Another pause.

"Alright, Ellie. I have to go now but I'll keep in touch. Stay out of trouble, kiddo. I love you."

She could feel tears well up in her eyes but tried to hold them back. "I love you too, dad. Stay safe."

"Bye."

She forced the tears back and sniffed. "Goodbye."

The only thing that was left when he hung up was the dial tone. She hung up the phone and decided she should get ready for school. She trudged upstairs and put on her fishnet stockings, black combat books, her red and black shirt and then her arm warmers before grabbing her backpack and walking out of the house.

Ellie was the first one in class, even before the bell rang. She had no interest in trying to find Craig at school. It was a good possibility that he was with Manny at her locker, blabbing to her about how pretty she looks. Pretty wasn't the word for her though. The word slut and backstabber was more like it, but of course Craig wouldn't tell her that. He didn't have enough balls to tell her to her face, anyway.

Mrs. Kwan looked up at her from her desk and then looked at her watch. "Ellie, you're here a little early. I'm not complaining or anything but you still have ten minutes before the bell rings."

Ellie smiled a bit and shrugged. "You know me, Mrs. Kwan. I'm eager to learn."

The English teacher smiled back at her and went back to her work. Ellie focused on the clock for what seemed like ages.

About ten minutes later, the homeroom bell rang right on cue. The second the bell rang, Ellie Nash knew that it would be a long day.


	3. Crimson Tears of Regret

**Chapter 3: Crimson Tears of Regret**

"Ellie, wait up!"

The young teen smiled when she heard the familiar voice. Ellie turned around to see Craig but her excitement quickly faded when she saw Manny Santos walking besides him.

_Oh God, please let a bus hit her..._

Unfortunately for Ellie, the two made it to her.

"Hey Ellie, how's it going?" Manny asked her excitedly.

Ellie Nash plastered a fake smile on her porcelain face and then turned to Craig.

"So El, what are your plans for later? Manny and I were going to go hang out at the mall."

Ellie looked back at Manny, imagining her head blowing up in her mind.

"You know, Craig. I'd love to except...I have a load of homework I have to do." Ellie lied.

"But Ellie –"

Ellie started to back away. "Call me later, alright?"

She gentle placed a lock of hair behind her ear.

"Bye..."

She knew he was disappointed but there was no way Ellie would be able to put up with Manny. She had trouble putting up with the wench since junior high.

She started to walk home when she realized that Ellie would have work in only a few hours.

"It's so not worth it to go home." She replied to no one in particular.

She looked around the school parking lot, hoping to find a ride. No such luck. Ellie walked for about ten minutes until she heard a car behind her.

"Are you stalking me?" Ellie asked, looking at the person she least expected.

"Yeah, I'm stalking you. Get in the car, Nash. I'll drive you wherever you need to go." Alex Nuñez replied as she stopped the car.

It was totally out of Alex's character to offer a ride to anyone, but there was no way in hell that Ellie would turn it down.

"Take me to The Dot, Alex. I have to work my shift."

"Three until nine? Are you some sort of night owl or something, Nash?" Alex asked as she turned the corner.

"I need the money. Of course, it would help if my mom stopped spending it all on alcohol..." Ellie replied, rolling her eyes.

She wasn't aware that she had let one of her secrets slip of her tongue, nor did she care. Whenever she was around Alex, she felt comfortable telling her anything. For some reason, Ellie got a small feeling that she could relate to her in some way.

"At least you see your mother."

"Please Alex; I might as well not see her at all. It's like she's never really there. She spends most of her day passed out on the couch."

"Did she ever try getting help?" Alex asked curiously, glancing quickly in Ellie's direction after stopping at a stop light.

There was a short pause before she spoke up.

"She did. My mom went to rehab for four weeks. She promised me she'd stop drinking. Of course she continued to drink, though..." Ellie confessed, looking down.

Alex sighed. "Once an alcoholic, always an alcoholic. I forced Jay to go to rehab a while ago, but I know that he sneaks liquor breaks every now and then. I love him, for some bizarre reason."

"Why don't you dump him? He obviously loves his booze more than you." The teen said lightly.

Alex shrugged. "I don't know, Nash. He hasn't stepped his boundaries yet, and until he does, I'm sticking by his side." She parked her car in front of the coffee shop.

"That was a cheerful ride, eh? Get out."

Ellie got out and headed towards the door. "Are you coming in?"

Alex shook her head and put on her denim jacket. "No, I'm working at the movie theatre around the corner. I get out around the same time as you so I figured I'd take you home. Hey Nash, you should work with me at the movie theater."

Ellie almost laughed. "I'll pass on that one. Me and hot butter do not go together. I'll see you later."

The two said their goodbyes and parted their separate ways.

Ellie walked into the shop, aware that she was five minutes late.

"I don't care that you're late, Ellie. Just get working..." her boss scolded as she entered the door.

Ellie agreed and was able to serve five customers before her clumsiness kicked in. In the six hours she worked, she successfully dropped and broke ten cups, two plates and accidentally spilled coffee all over the front of her shirt. It wasn't until she spilled coffee on one of the customers when her boss had decided to fire her.

"Oh God, please Jess. I need this job more than you can imagine. Please don't fire me." Ellie begged her boss.

"I'm sorry, Ellie but this isn't the first time you've been accident prone. I can't afford to lose any more customers."

Finally, Ellie gave in and then headed to the bathroom to change her clothes, small tears escaping her eyes. She had gotten most of her normal clothes when she looked at her naked arms. Old scars could barely be seen and she had been clean for about a month.

"No, Ellie. Don't do it. You've quit. You promised Craig you wouldn't hurt yourself anymore."

_Yeah, right. Easier said than done. Cutting's an addiction and once you start, it's hard to stop._

Her fingers had won the fight with her mind when Ellie took the box cutter that

conveniently rested on the sink.

"God, Nash...you're such a coward. Forgive me, Craig..."

With that, Ellie took the box cutter and made an incision on her forearm. She winced in pain as crimson blood seeped through her broken skin.

**

* * *

**Ellie walked out of the shop just in time to see Alex start up her car. She got in and hid her arms in her hoodie and looked at Alex. 

"Alex, I think I'll take you up on that job at the theater..."


	4. A Secret Kept

**Chapter 4: A Secret Kept**

**Saturday**

Ellie Nash woke up around ten and looked around. She didn't want to have to face her mother, Alex, or anyone else for that matter. It was Saturday and Ellie felt sore from the previous night. She wanted nothing more than to forget about getting fired and asking Alex if she could put in a good word for her at the theater.

Suddenly, Ellie heard the sound of the doorbell from her room. Whenever someone rang it, the sound seemed to vibrate throughout the whole house. Another way she could tell that it was the doorbell was because almost simultaneously, her mother moaned.

Ellie dragged herself out of bed and downstairs towards the front door. The doorbell rang once more.

"I'm coming!"

Ellie yawned sleepily and opened the door, surprised to see Craig.

_Craig. Oh God, this was the day I wanted to hang out with him. Oh Jesus, I'm still in my pajamas._

"Hey, Ellie. Umm...nice pajamas?" Craig snorted out, laughing.

She gave him a half smile and rolled her eyes. "Sorry, I just woke up. Umm..." Ellie looked at her mom who lay on the couch and thought for a second. She couldn't let Craig see her. He might have the same parent problems but her mother just plain embarrassed her.

"Can I come in?" Craig asked softly, peeking inside.

Ellie bit her lip. She couldn't just leave him outside waiting as she took a shower, got dressed, and had breakfast. Craig was her best friends and she couldn't just leave him alone.

"Y-yeah...come in, Craig. You can wait up in my room. You can watch TV while I get ready." She offered politely, praying that her mom wouldn't stop them before they could make it upstairs.

He nodded and stepped inside, closing the door behind him. Craig looked around, admiring the cream colored walls of the kitchen and the lime green and white curtains that attached to the windows. It seemed more like home to him than his father's house ever did. As they passed Ellie's mom, who lied on the couch, Craig could sense her embarrassment and uneasiness just by the way she looked at him before walking up the staircase.

When they reached her room, Ellie closed the door and locked it out of habit. Craig sat on the one person bed and looked around, taking in the band posters that hung on the wall. After a few moments of an uncomfortable silence, Craig finally spoke up.

"So...how long do you think it'll take you to get ready?"

"About half an hour. Is that alright? I mean, you can go home if you want and come back..." Ellie replied as she searched her closet for her clothes.

Craig waved it off. "Yeah, that's cool. I can wait, no big deal. I'll just watch TV."

Ellie smiled warmly at him, grateful that he did not ask about her mom and grateful that he would not leave. After she showed him how to use the remote, she grabbed her clothes and headed into the bathroom to take her shower.

It was about fifteen minutes before she finally got out of the bathroom, dressed in black stockings, black boots, and a long black shirt decked out in black eyeliner. Craig eyed her up and down, taking in her appearance. It wasn't uncommon for her to dress like that but when she did, he felt something inside that made him feel...nice inside.

"You look..."

Ellie looked at him, feeling self-conscious. It was taking a little long for him to continue his sentence and it scared her.

_Oh my god...he thinks I'm ugly. Shut up Nash, the boy may not have high standards but he's not stupid._

"Great." Craig finished, smiling at her. He didn't want to say beautiful, and sound too forward. If he said the wrong thing, he would get crucified.

Ellie smiled, satisfied with his answer. "Thanks, Craig. Do you want some breakfast?"

"No time, we can have breakfast somewhere. Let's go..."

Ellie was surprised at his impatience but agreed to go. "Where do you want to go?"

He thought for some time. "We could go to the park, if you want. We can swing and eat. There's a small food place there." Craig noted.

Ellie shrugged, not able to think of anywhere better to go. "Alright, we'd better get going before it turns into lunch instead of breakfast."

About twenty minutes of walking, they finally arrived at the park and walked towards the food place first, where Ellie got a cup of coffee and a blueberry muffin and Craig bought a bagel with cream cheese and a cartoon of orange juice.

The two decided to sit on the swings while they ate and drank.

"It's warm for fall, isn't it? I didn't think about the weather when I got dressed." Craig admitted.

Ellie looked over at him and saw that he had a black leather jacket on over the top of what looked to be a dark green shirt. She watched as he took off the jacket and threw it on the grass beside him. When he went to reach for his bagel that Ellie was holding in her hand, she noticed a faint outline of a bruise that enclosed around his wrist. She didn't want to make any implications so Ellie tried to put it out of her mind. Finding it difficult, Ellie looked down at her wrists and was reminded of past mistakes and regrets. She felt warm as well but her arms were covered at least.

"Paige told me that you're working at the movies now as a butter girl. What happened at The Dot?" Craig asked her, taking a bite out of his bagel.

Ellie looked away, ashamed. "I got fired. I can't do anything right. I try to fix my family but I just make it worse. I try to earn some money and I turn out to be the biggest klutz and accidentally spill coffee on the customers. What's wrong with me?" She asked sadly, letting it all spill out.

Craig finished his bagel and looked at her, concerned. "There's nothing wrong with you. It's not your job or responsibility to fix your family. They should be able to fix themselves, and as far as work is concerned, the boss at The Dot is just an asshole. I wouldn't take it too personally."

Ellie smiled weakly but rested her head against the swing, unable to finish her muffin. She knew that she was being depressing, but she couldn't help it. She didn't mean to sound so emotional when Craig probably had bigger problems in his own life to worry about.

"I'm sorry, Craig. We can talk about something else if you want. I seriously need mean to sound so emotional..." Ellie apologized sincerely.

He drank some of his orange juice. "Nah, it's alright. You're not making me sad or anything. I just want you to be alright. It's been awhile since you last...you know, cut. I'm really proud of you, El. You've been able to talk about your feelings and everything; you don't feel like you have to cut."

Ellie suddenly felt an uncomfortable feeling in her stomach and knew she had to tell him the truth.

_I can't. I can't tell him that I cut last night. I could really use people that are proud of me right now. If my parents can't be proud, I'd be grateful that Craig can. I'm not going to lose that._

Ellie smiled a little and nodded. "Thank you, Craig. I'm really glad we could hang out..."

He could sense that a million things were going on in Ellie's head and he longed to know what she was thinking, or if she was enjoying his company as much as he was enjoying hers.

"Anything on your mind?" He asked casually, throwing out his carton in a nearby trash can.

This was the opportune moment. If she had anything to say to him, now was the time. It was now or never.

"Nope. I'm good." She lied.

Oh how simple and easy it was to lie. It was almost too easy. She felt bad that she could even lie to his face like this, but it helped her feel better about keeping her secret a secret.

_If anyone here has anything they would like to say, say it now or forever hold your peace..._


	5. Only The Bathroom Tiles Know My Pain

**Chapter 5: Only The Bathroom Tiles Know My Pain**

"Ellie, it's your turn to share with the group."

Ellie Nash looked up at the counselor and then back at her hands. This therapy session was the last place she wanted to be. She had been persuaded to go by Ms. Sauve after about an hour of talking. She didn't feel like she was ready for this, at least not yet. The group seemed to be worse than her; it felt selfish to even be here in the first place.

"You can be honest here, Ellie. No one is going to laugh at you," promised the

woman.

_What the hell? What do I have to lose?_

"Umm...my name is Ellie Nash, and..."

The woman nodded, urging her to continue.

Ellie glanced at all the strangers around her as they eyed her up and down, wondering why she was here to even begin with. She opened her mouth again but no words came out, just hesitation.

"It's alright, Ellie. Don't be afraid."

Ellie wasn't afraid, not at all. She just didn't want to admit that she had a problem. Inside, she didn't believe she did. Cutting had just seemed like a routine thing and her blades were her life savers. She had something to hang on to and ironically, the tools saved her from dying.

"I-I'm sorry. I'm not strong enough yet, I guess."

Ellie looked down into her lap, half ashamed that she couldn't admit it. As the woman nodded and went on to the guy sitting beside her, she couldn't help feeling like she had let the woman down. Ellie tried not to think about it, but the more she did, the more depressed she started to feel.

After group, Ellie looked at her watch.

_11:34. What am I going to do with the rest of my day? Maybe I should just go home. Craig won't want to see me, he's probably with Manny._

Ellie started to walk home, wishing that she had to work today instead of tomorrow. She would rather see Alex again than be home alone with her mother. She wished that just once, her mother wouldn't be passed out.

When she got home, she could smell the thick smell of alcohol in the house and guessed that her mom had spilled an opened bottle of vodka or beer on the floor and had decided she was too hung over to clean it up. Ellie was about to go upstairs to her room when a figure suddenly blocked the stairs.

"Where the hell have you been!" screamed her mother, holding a half bottle of vodka.

"I-I was at Craig's house..." Ellie lied.

Her mother knew nothing of her cutting and if Ellie could help it, she would keep it that way. If her mother ever found out, she would make her daughter suffer with her.

"Craig? Craig Manning's house? My daughter, the whore!" yelled the drunken woman.

"M-mom, I'm not a whore! I'm not even going out with him! He's just my friend." She tried to explain.

"He's just your friend? That's what I said about a man who raped me, Ellie. He was just a friend and then the next thing I knew, I was flat on my back with my innocence being taken! You better watch yourself, Ellie...you'll end up like me if you're not careful..."she slurred.

Ellie found herself on the brink of tears. She felt bad for her mother for being raped, but that didn't mean she could take out her past on her daughter. Ellie felt herself fill up with anger and lashed out. "No, mom! I'll never end up like you! I'll never end up always passed out on the couch! I'll never lie to my daughter! I'll never carry a bottle with me wherever I go! I—"

Before she knew what had happened, a sharp pain coursed through her cheek like a lightning bolt and she found herself on the floor. Ellie looked up at her mother, tears falling down her face like rain.

"Don't you ever talk like that to me, Ellie Nash! I never lied to you! I was able to put a roof over your head and give you decent clothes to wear! I made sure there was food in your stomach! I never let you go hungry! I never broke a promise to you!"

Ellie stood up but kept her distance. "You always break a promise to me, mom! You told me you were going to get help! I didn't see the fruits of that labor! I worked for two months so you could pay the bills but you spent the money on liquor! Oh yeah, mom. You're simply wonderful! I could support myself more than you could ever support me! I could do everything that you never did for me!" Ellie screamed at her mother.

"Fine, Ellie! Do that! Just get out of my house and do that! You'll see how hard it really is to be on your own and then you'll come crawling back to me! You were a mistake, Ellie! I'm ashamed that you came out of my body, you ungrateful thing! Yo are no longer allowed to live here! Don't come back until you learn to appreciate the life you have! Get your shit and leave!"

Ellie looked at the floor for a few minutes, trying to comprehend what was going

on. Her mom had just kicked her out. Hell, she basically disowned her. Where was she going to go? What would she do now?

Suddenly, Ellie felt herself be hit one more time and felt pain near her lip. She glared at her mom with narrowed eyes in disbelief that her own flesh and blood would do this to her. She ran upstairs to collect clothes and personals. As she did this, she could hear her mother screaming still. Ellie made sure her cell was in her bag and some more clothes and then ran downstairs.

"Get out of here!"

Ellie didn't turn around before she exited her house. She decided to let her feet take her wherever she was destined to go from here. Ellie walked for almost fifteen minutes before she found herself at Craig doorstep. She felt her legs shake with fear and anxiety, wishing that she could go somewhere else. Ellie just prayed that Manny wasn't at his house.

It started to rain and the droplets absorbed into her clothes and hair. She felt herself break down, wondering what would happen to her now. She felt homeless, and worthless. If her own mother didn't want her, what made her feel like Craig would?

Ellie Nash took a shaky hand and slowly rang the doorbell. She stood in the rain for about two minutes before she saw someone open it. Craig looked beyond surprised to see her at his house but he didn't delay to invite her inside. She made her way inside the house and sniffed gently.

"Ellie, what happened? Are you alright?" Craig asked her, eying her lip which was bleeding some.

"I'm sorry, Craig. M-my mom kicked me out. Can I stay here with you? I-I didn't know where e-else to go..." Ellie's voice shook.

He took off her coat and then gave her a blanket from the couch.

"Yeah, of course. Sit down, El."

She set her backpack down next to the couch and got it together. "Is Manny here? Where's Joey?" She asked him.

Craig looked at her for a long time before answering. "Uhh...Manny's not here. Joey's at Sydney's with Angie for awhile. Oh god, El. You're bleeding. Did your mom do this to you?" He asked her worriedly before he went to fetch a wash washcloth.

Ellie touched the side of her lip and looked at her finger. She had no idea that her mother had made her bleed. "Y-yeah...apparently. Craig, do you mind if I use your bathroom?"

He shook his head. "No, god no. By all means, do what you have to do."

She took her bag with her, hoping that he wouldn't ask any questions. Hopefully, he would assume that she had her period or something. Ellie locked the bathroom door and then took out her tool. She sat on the floor and dug the blade into her arm, letting her pain and sadness bleed out into a crimson trail. Ellie's tears fall on the floor as she did this and finally took out a red handkerchief and pressed the cloth against the cut, trying to force it to stop. Deep inside, there was something that felt like taking her hand off the cloth, letting her bleed to death right there on Craig Manning's bathroom floor. There was a part of her that just wanted to give up and not care about living anymore. There was a voice that told her to end it all, but then there was another voice, Craig's voice, that told her she had to hang on and keep going.

Ellie let go of the handkerchief after about five minutes since it stopped bleeding heavily. She rolled her sleeves back down and washed her blade before she put it back in her bag. When she stepped out of the bathroom, she saw Craig holding a blanket open for her. Touched, Ellie walked towards him and felt him place the blanket around her before sitting down on the couch, motioning for her to sit down next to him. Ellie did so and then rested her head on his shoulder, taking in his scent.

"Thank you so much, Craig. I wish there was something I could do."

"Just you being here is repayment enough for me." Craig whispered in her ear before gently kissed her cheek.

The two sat next to each other until Ellie fell asleep, dreaming of Craig and how he had made her feel so important and alive like she never was before.


	6. Drama and Some Pizza

**Chapter 6: Drama and Some Pizza**

Ellie Nash slowly opened her eyes as the sunlight smiled upon the living room. She looked to her right and noticed that Craig wasn't there. She sighed and pulled the blanket off of her before standing up to begin to search for Craig.

"Craig?"

No answer.

Maybe he had gone outside or maybe he had to pick up Angie. Suddenly, a grim thought appeared in Ellie's mind. Maybe he had gone to see Manny. Suddenly, she heard a crash in the basement. Her heart skipped a beat, hoping that it wasn't some stranger in the basement, clumsily trying to get out or in of the house.

"Craig!"

She looked around, searching for her weapon of choice. About ten seconds later, her eyes caught a steel baseball bat. After she picked it up, she slowly walked towards the basement door.

_Please don't let it be a stranger. Please, please..._

Her hands lingered on the gold doorknob that lead into the old basement.

_Come on, Nash. Don't be chicken. You're armed. You're scared. You're adrenaline is pumping...that creep won't have a chance._

She quickly opened the door and ran down the stairs until she heard a yell of a familiar male voice. Ellie stopped hitting the man with the bat and then felt herself shrink when she saw Craig Manning.

"Jesus, Craig. You fricken scared me!"

"Who the hell did you think I was?" Craig laughed and shook his head.

"Sorry..."

There was an uncomfortable silence before Ellie heard him speak again. She turned her attention to him before setting the bat down against the wall.

"You know, Ellie. I've been thinking," Craig started. "I think that we should...we should call child protection services on her. If this has been going on as long as I think it has, then...we should do something about it now."

Ellie felt a sickening feeling in the pit of her stomach. She felt like one big welfare case that he had to fix. She looked down at the cold floor, doing everything in her power to avoid eye contact with him. She knew that if she forced herself to look into those big beautiful eyes, she might start crying.

"Craig, my mom's not like how your father was. Besides her drunkenness, she's not that bad. I love her, and I can't call child services to take her away. If it wasn't the first time that she has hit me, then I might understand. I made her mad, anyway. It was my fault..." Ellie trailed off, thinking about all the girls that have ever said that to save the ones they loved.

Craig Manning walked over to her and looked into her eyes. Ellie knew that he was about to say something serious. She took in his scent again as he placed his hands on her shoulders.

"El, you can't say that it was your fault. I've been where you have, and I used to believe that my father beat me and that it was my fault too. I always thought that I was the reason he beat me, and...and I used to think, why me? Don't blame yourself. Your mother's an alcoholic, and –"

"And she's getting help! She's going to meetings and she's back at work! Craig, I know you're trying to help but do me a favor and don't!"

Ellie grabbed her backpack and then stormed out of the house, furious with both herself and him. He had no right telling her that it was her mother's fault for why things were the way they were. She cut because of herself. Her mother drank because of Ellie. At least, that's what her mindset was. This belief was so strong that not even Craig Manning could break her out of it.

She heard the front door open again as she walked down the sidewalk angrily.

"Ellie, wait! Please, El!"

She didn't stop; she didn't even look back once she had turned the corner. The young girl continued to walk down the sidewalk but stopped, feeling the hairs on the back of her neck tickle.

Ellie turned around sharply, getting a sneaky suspicion that someone was following her but let it go.

_Stop it. It's probably just Craig messing with you. Dipshit. Let him screw with your head. Maybe it'll make him feel bad._

Ellie turned back around and walked again, not stopping until she reached her house. She scolded herself, mad for even leaving her house the previous night. Her mother was probably worried out of her mind. Then again, maybe she was drunk, again. She shrugged it off as she entered the house. She looked around for any sign of her mom but was unsuccessful. Ellie walked into the kitchen and stopped when she saw a note:

Ellie,

Went to AA. I left money so you could buy yourself a pizza. Be home around eleven.

Love you lots!

Mom

She read the note over and over again, making sure that she had read it right. Inside, she felt so proud that she had stuck up for her mother when Craig put her down. Part of Ellie Nash felt so tempted to run over to Craig's and shove the note in his face, just to prove how wrong he was and that he had no right saying what he did. Then she thought about something. That would be something that Manny would do; prove him wrong and brag about it. Ellie calmed herself down and decided to forget about Craig for now. It wasn't the time to be too cocky. She was proud of her mother. Deep inside, Ellie was never sure if she was really going to the meetings or not. At least now, there was proof. Then again, she knew to never take anyone's word. Her mother could have said that she was going to a meeting but really went to a bar instead.

She shook off the idea and embraced the note, reading it one more time. She eyed the words at the end: Love you!

Ellie had doubts that her mother had that in mind when she had hit her daughter, but decided to shake that idea off. After all, ignorance was bliss and this was a moment she didn't want to forget.

**Six o' clock.**

Ellie heard the sound of her stomach rumbling. She suddenly felt bad for Craig. He was also home alone and she knew as well as he did that there was no way in hell he could cook without burning the house down.

She sighed as she gave in to temptation, reaching for the cordless phone.

"Craig, do you want to come over for dinner? I'm sorry about earlier, I was acting like a bitch. Forgive me?"

"Well Miss. Ellie Nash, I don't know. Those were some pretty cruel things you said to me earlier..." Craig joked, chuckling at his words.

"Stop being a dick and come on over. I'm ordering pizza..."

Ellie heard his sound of enthusiasm before she hung up. She called LaPolama's and ordered them to deliver it.

"Great, now I wait."

Ellie turned on the TV and brought out the DVDs. If she knew Craig as well as she thought she did, he would want to watch a movie when he ate. Once she had got everything ready, she heard the sound of the doorbell.

She jogged over to the door and opened it, greeting Craig.

"Hey, I'm sorry about earlier..."

He waved it off with his hand. "Don't worry about it, Nash. I understand."

Ellie stepped aside so he could walk inside the small house.

"Where's the pizza?"

Ellie walked into the kitchen to grab some paper towels and napkins.

"Not here yet. So...how are you and Manny?"

Craig looked down, rubbed the back of his neck, and then looked at her. In a moment, Ellie could tell that everything wasn't perfect in paradise.

"That bad?"

Craig plopped himself down on the couch, Ellie not far behind.

"Well, Manny's giving me the cold shoulder right now. She asked where I was going, and I told her that I was coming to see you. You can imagine what happened after that. She started yelling about how I don't care about her and then told me to go come see you because she couldn't even look at me, so here I am."

Ellie shared a laugh with him, imagining the drama unfolding. It seemed like a Manny thing to do.

The chiming sound of the doorbell made her jump, forgetting about the pizza. She walked over to the door, grabbed the pizza and handed him the money her mom had left for her. Ellie walked back to where Craig was picking out a movie to watch, and set the pepperoni and mushroom pizza on the coffee table.

"Dawn of the Dead? We've seen it like, ten times. You honestly want to watch it while we're eating?"

Craig ignored her and put the DVD into the player, simultaneously grabbing a piece of pizza.

"You are...amazing." Ellie chuckled, watching him stuff it into his mouth.

"Thank you, Miss Nash. So are you..."

Ellie got up to dim the lights and then retreated back to her seat on the couch next to Craig. While the movie played, Ellie could sense that someone was watching her...


	7. Pancakes

**Chapter 7: Pancakes**

Ellie slowly woke up the sound of clashing dishes. Her first thought that it was her drunken mother rummaging through the cabinets for her Smirnoff vodka bottle.

She reluctantly looked around, realizing that she was still in the living room. Suddenly, she heard someone rustle near her.

Ellie looked below her and saw Craig, his hair a mess, and his arm acting as a pillow as his head lay on it. Her stomach did a flip flop as she heard her mother approach them. Oh no, here it comes...

"Morning, Ellie. Might this be the boy you're always telling me about?"

Ellie was surprised how cheerful her mother sounded. As she looked into her eyes, she couldn't see any sign of bloodshot eyes or anything. Her mother hovered over her, looking down at the floor at Craig, smiling.

She didn't want to wake him up, but he couldn't sleep here forever. She waited until her mom walked back into the kitchen before Ellie shook Craig.

"Craig, come on. Wake up, Craig."

"Yeh...huh?"

He sat up and rubbed his eyes tiredly.

"Oh god, sorry El. I better be getting home. Joey's going to freak..."

Ellie nodded in understanding. Joey was pretty easygoing but there was only so many times Craig could push his limits. She stood up and stretched, looking at the mess that strewed the beige carpet. She started picking up the bags of Doritos and the half eaten pizza in the box, glancing out of the corner of her eye to watch Craig help.

Ellie stopped and looked at him.

"It's okay, Craig. I'll take care of it, you go home."

He looked at her helplessly for a few moments and smiled weakly before he walked out of the room.

"Craig, are you sure that you don't want any breakfast or anything before you leave?"

Ellie looked up to see her mother taking out a large pan that she used for pancakes, and another pan she used for eggs. She looked in disbelief, thinking she must have misheard.

"Umm, no thank you, Mrs. Nash. Maybe some other time..."

Ellie heard the front door open and close. She carried the garbage into the kitchen and threw it in the garbage can under the sink.

"Mom, since when did you invite my friends to stay for breakfast?"

Mrs. Nash looked at her daughter as she poured the pancake batter into the pan.

"Ellie, don't be silly. I just thought it would be nice to ask your friend to stay. I just thought you guys were hungry..."

Ellie stared at this new woman for a long time. Who was this person? What happened to her old mom. Of course, Ellie couldn't complain about this new mother. She appeared a lot nicer than her old one. She went back into the living room to pick up the empty container of chip dip and a half eaten bag of gummy worms.

"Ellie, it's the weekend. Why don't you go somewhere and hang out with your friends?"

Ellie thought for a few moments. Her old mom never let her go out on the weekend. She always had to sneak out. There was no way she would turn down the offer.

"Yeah, okay. I'll be back later..."

"Just be back before dark, Ellie."

Ellie nodded and went upstairs to grab her bag.

"_Just in case I need it..._" the young teenager thought to herself.

Within minutes she was walking the sidewalk, heading towards Alex's house. She took a deep breath, hearing yelling and screaming inside.

_"Maybe I should just leave. I wouldn't be bothering anyone and no one would get yelled at." _

Ellie turned her back and was about to leave when she heard it open behind her. She snapped around to see Alex standing in the doorway.

"You look like death warmed over..."

Ellie chuckled lightly and looked at her.

"Yeah, thanks. Did I come at a bad time?"

Alex shook her head and sighed.

"Every time around here is pretty bad. Want to come in?"

Ellie looked down at her arm and then back at her friend.

"Actually, do you think we could go somewhere?"

Alex nodded. "Yeah, sure. Give me ten minutes. Come in until I'm ready."

As Ellie Nash walked inside, she was only half surprised by what she saw. Cigarette cartons littered the floor and the coffee table, dirty dishes filled the sink, and a broken pile of ceramic glass lay in pieces on the floor. Ellie stepped around it as she followed Alex to her room.

"Sorry about the house; I didn't know you would be coming over."

Ellie waved it off lightly as she stepped into Alex's bedroom, a room that looked a lot neater.

"No, don't worry about it. I've seen worse. You have a pretty cool room, though."

Alex laughed, taking off her dark green pajama shirt and slipping a pink and black fishnet shirt on.

"Thanks, I guess," Alex said, pulling a pair of jeans on.

Ellie stood there, not really knowing what to say at this point. She never had dressed or undressed in front of anyone, and no one had ever done either in front of her. Part of her felt uncomfortable as she quickly glanced at Alex's clean arms and wrists. It made her feel like the loneliest person in the world.

Alex pulled her hair up and then applied her eyeliner on. Once she finished, she looked at Ellie.

"Ready?"

Ellie nodded and followed Alex out of the door.

On the way to the Dot, Ellie told Alex the story of her sickeningly nice mother who was about to make her best friend pancakes.

Alex almost burst out laughing. "Really? That's something, Nash..."

"I don't know. I think she's really gone crazy, Alex."

The two entered the grill and sat at a table. Ellie and Alex were tended to almost instantly, where they both ordered iced tea.

"Maybe the AA classes are working..."

Ellie almost laughed at the suggestion. Her mother had been in Alcoholics Anonymous for almost three years, and she had never seen any sign of her mother improving until now.

"I don't think so. Is it wrong to like the way she's acting? I mean, it's so different than how I'm used to her acting. Part of me almost missing the old her."

Alex shook her head in disbelief. "Ellie, listen to yourself. You're saying that you miss the woman who hurt you. You miss the drunken mother who treated you like dirt! There's nothing to miss, Nash. Be grateful that she's actually getting better. Is that so hard to believe?"

She lowered her head, ignoring the iced tea that was placed in front of her. She knew that her friend was right. Ellie was being so ungrateful for something that she had longed for so long. Now that it had come, why wasn't she acting the way she was supposed to?

"Your mom has changed her life, for you. She's sobering up, El. You should be encouraging her and enjoying the time you spend with her," Alex replied easily. She drank some of the tea, watching the liquid go down in the glass.

Ellie nodded, knowing everything Alex was saying was true. "You're right. I just don't want to be nice to her and end up being slapped in the face...again."

Alex finished her tea and looked at Ellie. "You'll never know until you try. Me, it's too late to befriend my mom. We've been mortal enemies since I was born. At least you have a second chance with her. Don't screw it up, or I'll have to come to your house and kick your ass.." Alex joked, chuckling.

Ellie joined in with her and smiled. "Thanks, Alex. You're great."

"Someone has to keep you in line..."

They finished their drinks, about to leave, when Paige Michaelchuck approached them. Ellie looked at her worried face and felt her heart skip a beat.

"Ellie, we've got to go to the hospital. Manny just called me on my cell and told me that something happened to Craig."

Ellie looked at Alex in panic and stood up, Alex not far behind her. The three climbed in Paige's car and started to speed to the hospital.

As they raced down the street, Ellie felt like she might be sick. She just saw Craig this morning. How could things change so much in so little time?


	8. Bumps and Bruises

**Chapter 8: Bumps and Bruises**

Ellie Nash nervously paced the emergency room, waiting impatiently for any sign of good news of Craig. She had waited in the waiting room for several hours with Paige and Alex. She glanced at Paige, who looked like she was going to cry. Then she glanced at Alex, who seemed totally unfazed by all of this. At this point, Ellie didn't know how to act with no information whatsoever in the condition Craig was in and what happened to him. She snapped her rubber band that hugged her wrist, causing slight red marks to develop without mercy.

Suddenly, the teenager couldn't take it anymore. She angrily stood up and waved her arms.

"Why won't anyone tell us anything! What's the big secret they're keeping from us! I want to know what happened to my friend!"

Ellie felt tears well up in her eyes, in both frustration and fear. She felt eyes on her back at the other patients who sat in the room with them, but right now that was the last thing she was worried about. Let them stare; at least they knew information on the ones they cared about. It felt so unfair, so unjust.

She felt someone come up from behind her and tap her shoulder. Ellie quickly turned around to see a doctor, the scrubs red from either past surgeries or an incident that had just happened. She then felt a sick feeling grow in her stomach.

"My name is Dr. Kevin Reynolds. Are you friends of...Craig Manning?"

Alex and Paige both stood up and walked over to where Ellie and the doctor were standing, facing each other.

"Yes, we are. What happened?" Paige demanded, her face growing cherry red as if she had cried earlier.

"Well, Craig came into the ER with minor cuts and scrapes on his face, but large bruises on his abdomen, ribcage, and his back area. He wouldn't talk to us, but his father brought him in and explained to us that he had gotten into a fist fight at his house. We managed to clean the cuts and scrapes, but the bruises will take awhile to heal," Dr. Reynolds explained almost too easily.

Ellie, Paige, and Alex all looked at each other, knowing the real truth but too scared to say anything to the doctor.

"C-can we see him?" Paige asked him lightly.

He nodded, pointing the way to them. The girls nervously walked down the sterile hallway and then finally stopped at room 3B. Ellie pushed the door open slowly, in case Craig was asleep and then stepped inside. The others followed behind her and stared at the injured rock angel.

"Oh, Craig..."

Ellie looked at Craig's pale face that held small white band aids. She looked at the tubes that ran down his arm and attached at one of his fingers. Alex stood in the corner, not being able to hardly look at him.

"Hey guys, how did you know I was here?"

Paige looked at him quickly, and smiled weakly. "Manny called me on my cell. Where did she go?"

Craig shrugged and chuckled. "How the hell should I know? I've been unconscious for about five hours..."

Ellie could tell that everyone else was thinking the question she wanted to ask to badly, but they were just too chicken shit to ask.

"Craig, why did you go back to your dads', even after how he treated you?"

The young rock star looked at his hands and then rubbed the back of his neck with his right one. He shrugged and gave them a short, maniacal smile.

"You think that I went over there because I forgave him, don't you? You think that I'm a fucking idiot because I enjoy getting beaten by him, don't you?"

"No, no Craig. We don't think that at all. We...we were just wondering why you went over there again, that's all. We know that you're not dumb, and that you wouldn't go over there because you forgave him," Paige reassured him.

Craig shook his head and looked sadly at his cream colored bed sheets.

"I want over there because I forgot my backup guitar. I went to run upstairs and get it when...when my dear old dad found me and bashed the guitar on me. Then he basically beat me until I passed out. I don't mean to sound like I want self-pity, because I don't want it. I...I just wish that he would be locked up so I don't have to get my ass kicked every time I go to my house, the house I grew up in! I must have the worst luck in all history..." Craig replied in disbelief.

"Craig, you don't have the worst luck. You didn't want to go to child services and you didn't want to press charges against him. Things would have turned out differently if you had."

Craig nodded in agreement. "Yeah, I know. I just...I just wish he would just lay off of me and leave me alone. I know I've done some bad crap in my life, but I don't think I deserve this, you know?"

The others nodded, dumbstruck about what to say to him that would make him feel better. Craig must have felt the discomfort because he took a deep breath and sighed.

"I'm feeling tired, guys. I think I'm going to take a nap. I'll probably be back at Joey's tomorrow..."

"Alright, Craig. If you need us, you can call us. We'll keep our cells on. Take care, Craig."

"Get better..."

"Later, little man."

Each girl took turns hugging him and they walked out of his room, their anger levels rising with every thought of Craig's father.


	9. Broken Glass

**Chapter 9: Broken Glass**

Craig lay in his own, comfortable bed after being stuck at the hospital for three days. He opened his eyes tiredly, hearing dishes clinking downstairs. Craig dragged himself out of bed, and stood up, glancing at himself in the floor mirror. His bruises were slowly diminishing but were still visible. He sighed and then put a band shirt on before heading downstairs. There was no way that he would let Angie see it. She already saw the first bruise and he wouldn't let Little Angela see the second. He got downstairs and saw Joey getting dishes out of the oak cupboard and saw eggs frying in a man.

"Hey, champ. How are you feeling?"

Craig gave a small smile to his guardian and sat down. "Okay, I guess. Ellie and the others visited me in the hospital, so that was definitely a plus."

He playfully messed up Angela's hair and started tickling her. "Did you miss me?"

"Yes! Stop...yes!" she screeched, laughing hysterically.

"Oh, Craig; that reminds me. Ellie called and told me to tell you to call her back if you get a chance."

Craig nodded, watching him flip the egg onto a ceramic plate, and then quickly buttering the toast from the toaster, adding that to the breakfast entrée.

"Alright, I'll call her after breakfast. Umm...did my dad call?" Craig looked down at the table, purposely ignoring his guardian's eyes.

Joey was silent for a few minutes and then sat down next to him, putting his plate in front of Craig.

"Yeah, he did. How did you know?"

Craig shrugged, picking up his fork and beginning to play with his food. "Just a wild guess," Craig snorted, shaking his head. "So what did he want, to apologize for beating me, and did he want me to come over and make it right?"

Joey must have sensed the anger inside Craig.

"Angie, sweetie. Take your breakfast into the living room and go watch cartoons or something, alright?"

"But dad..."

"Now, Angela."

Joey waited until the little girl was out of the kitchen before he spoke to Craig.

"I think we should press charges against your father, Craig,"

"Joey, no..."

"What he did to you was unforgivable, and it's not the first time he's done this to you!"

Craig could tell that he was losing patience with him. All the times that Craig had been beaten or hit, he never went to the police. When he did go to child protection, his bruises had already disappeared, so his evidence couldn't be proven. Inside, Craig didn't want to send his father to jail, partly because he was scared that his dad would get out on bail and then come after him. This idea had haunted him in his dreams for years.

"Joey, please. Just leave it; he can...he can go fuck himself! I hate that self-righteous prick."

"Craig, what if it was Angie that he had hurt instead of you? Would you want him to walk on the streets?"

Craig sighed, understanding his point that he was trying so hard to get through to him. Of course he would want to press charges then if it had been Angela he had hurt, but still. His fear would just haunt him in his dreams, or rather, nightmares.

"I understand where you're coming from, I really do. I just...let's just leave it alone for now, alright?"

Craig was then taken aback as Joey stood up angrily, simultaneously knocking his glass of orange juice off the table in rage. Craig Manning flinched and looked at him, terrified. For a solid moment, he could have sworn that his father was in the room again and they were back at their old house.

"Damnit, Craig! I'm trying to help you here and you don't want to hurt the man who hurt you! You've got to take responsibility for yourself and do what's right instead of ignoring the problem. Tomorrow, you will go to the police station, and press charges against your dad! Do you understand?"

Craig just sat there, mouth agape, a lost for words. He had never seen Joey act this angry towards him for even the most severe reason. He couldn't stop playing this scene in his head as it came back to him from a scene that his father had thrown so long ago. Craig remembered his dad knocking a glass of wine off the table, shattering it into a thousand small pieces as well. He remembered the exact tone he had used, and Craig found it startling that Joey's tone and his father's tone was identical.

Craig then stood up, and started to walk backwards towards the wall, almost in fear of being hit.

Joey suddenly realized his mistake, and then walked gently towards the boy.

"Craig, I'm sorry...I didn't mean to act like that towards you..."

Craig's eyes glanced quickly down at the floor and then just as quickly at Joey. He simply nodded and then walked cautiously towards the door. "I'm...I'm going out for awhile. I-I'll be back soon..."

Joey nodded and started to clean the glass from the floor, shocked by his own behavior.

Craig walked out the door and started walking towards Ellie's house, all the while glancing back every so often back at Joey's house. He hated himself for being afraid of Joey, his guardian and his friend. He wasn't like his father, and knew how his father acted. Craig hated himself for seeing evil in every father figure he saw. His father had made him afraid of anyone who ever lifted a finger in front of him. Craig knew that he shouldn't act this way, but it hadn't changed his mind about pressing charges.

Before he knew it, he had reached Ellie Nash's doorstep and was facing the oak door. He gently pressed the doorbell, and waited patiently for his friend.

"Ellie! Get the door!"

Craig was hesitant to stay when he heard Ellie's mom's voice. She sounded drunk, and angry.

_Maybe this is a bad time_, he thought. _Fuck it, every time's a bad time here_.

Before he could force his feet to move away from the house, he saw the front door open and a tired figure leaning against the doorway.

"Hey, Ellie..."

"Hey, Craig. It's good to see you out of the hospital," she replied.

Craig Manning could barely tell the fragile girl standing in front of him was indeed his friend Ellie Nash. Her eyes looked red and puffy, as if she was crying. She looked a lot skinnier, as if she hadn't eaten in days.

His heart suddenly went out to her even though he wasn't positive what had happened. She looked so...weak. He was half contemplating if her legs might give out; they were as thin as toothpicks. Craig wouldn't have been so worried if she had toned them from joining and participating in the school track team, but she was far from school sports.

"Umm, yeah...may I come in?"

Ellie nodded, standing aside so Craig could come in. After she let him in, she closed the door.

"Let's go up to my room."

Craig followed her up to her room and started to feel uneasy when he heard the sound of a glass bottle smashing to the floor. He watched her close the door and sit on the bed beside her.

"Ellie, what happened to you? You don't look like yourself..."

Ellie found herself silent for a long time and then felt herself start to break down. Tears escaped her small eye sockets and raced down her fragile cheek.

Craig gently wiped the tear away and held her face in his palm, wanting more than anything to hold her.

"Craig, I found out...a lieutenant from the army c-came to the house and...and...and told us that...Craig, my dad was killed in the war..."


	10. Contemplation

**Chapter 10: Contemplation **

Craig Manning stood there, dumbfounded. All he could do was wrap the fatherless girl in his arms as more tears slid down her pale face. Ellie accepted the invitation in his arms and started to sob uncontrollably. Her father was the parent she was ever the closest to, and the one who always saved her from her drunkard mother. Her father had basically raised her and treated her like a real parent should. Now that he was gone, Ellie Nash felt so alone, and so desperate.

"I'm so sorry, El. I really am..."

"Thank you, Craig," Ellie cried into his shoulder. She continued to cry for what seemed like hours, and maybe it was, but Craig didn't care. He didn't care about the growing wetness he felt on his shirt from her tears, and he didn't care that she was being selfish. By all means, she had every right to be selfish. It was her time to grieve, and he would let her, no matter how long it took.

She tried, but she couldn't seem to stop crying. As far as he was concerned, Craig would rather have her belt out all her bad feelings than express them in the most negative way that she had such a habit of doing. He held her until the sun set, and thereafter.

When he felt her go limp in his arms, he gently lay her down on the bed so she was scrawled out before he stood up.

When he did, he felt a soft hand grab his wrist. He looked down to see Ellie, looking tired than ever. "Craig, will you stay with me, please? I'm afraid to be alone..."

He sat on the bed and thought for a moment before he spoke. "Why are you afraid to be alone?"

Ellie Nash tiredly sat up and then uncovered her arm, hesitantly. On her arm, old scars were covered by fresh cuts. Craig took her arm and then slowly shook his head.

"I thought you were getting help with this, Ellie. What happened?"

Ellie felt herself grow weak, but her tears were all dried up; she had cried them all away. "I am, it just gets...difficult. Life gets difficult. I'm afraid that I might do something worse, though. Please stay?"

Craig knew he couldn't leave her alone and thought her responsible to tell him and show him her old mistakes and her new punishments. It took a lot of courage to show someone your regrets.

"Of course, El. I'll stay..."

Craig lay down behind her, wrapping his left arm around to her arm and kissed her scarred arm.

He could feel the stricken teen go into a deep sleep before Craig felt his own eyes begin to close.

Ellie woke up the next morning, her stomach empty from not eating for so long. She rubbed her eyes sleepily as she remembered the previous night, and what had happened. She would be surprised if her mother hadn't drunk herself to death by now.

Ellie tried to get up, but was held back by a muscular arm that appeared to be draped over her. She half smiled, also remembering that she had pleaded Craig to stay with her. She carefully picked his arm up and rested it on his stomach before exiting the bedroom.

On the way out, she made sure to close the door as so he wouldn't be woken up by any disturbances downstairs. She tiptoed down the wooden staircase, looking around for any sign of her mother.

"Mom, where are you?"

She peered into the living room where she found her mother sitting on the couch, a cigarette in her mouth, her facial expression unreadable. Ellie walked over to her and sat beside her, staring at the television program.

"Mom, a-are you alright?"

Janice Nash looked at her daughter emotionlessly and then took a drag of the cigarette before exhaling the smoke.

"Please, Ellie. Not now; just leave me alone..."

Ellie sighed and walked back upstairs, grabbed her clothes and went into her bathroom to take a shower. She closed the door, locked it, and suddenly her eyes met the razor that sat so patiently on the bathroom sink.

She looked at it as she began to undress, taking in its purity, its virgin blades, and its...beauty.

_No, Nash. Not now...you've been through a rough time, but you will not give up now. You can't disappoint Craig any more than you already have. He lost his father too, but you cannot be selfish. You have to get over it. People die in wars all the time._

Ellie jumped in the shower and started to wash her dyed hair, still scolding herself for looking at the tempting razor that seemed to be calling her name.

Once she washed up and placed a towel around her naked body, her eyes glanced at the temptress again. Suddenly, a noise in her bedroom startled her.

Craig. He was awake...

She heard footsteps walk over to the bathroom door.

"El, are you alright?"

She stood there, looking in the mirror at her reflection. She barely recognized the person staring back at her. Bloodshot eyes, an exhausted expression on her face. No, she was not alright. Ellie Nash felt numb, like her father being killed in the war was surreal. It couldn't have happened. There had to be more than one person with the last name of Nash. She didn't know how to feel anymore. She felt absolutely nothing, and looked like a porcelain doll; her skin as white as death, and her lips outlined in pink.

"Yeah, Craig, I'm okay."

Ellie started to reach for the blade, her hand shaking with anticipation, and guilt. She grabbed the pink handle of the Daisy razor, embracing the texture.

_Don't do this, Ellie. You're stronger than this. There are worse people off in the world; you have no right to do this. Just throw it out. Take the fucking razor and throw it out if it tempts you so much. That's what you learned from your support group. Throw it out and grab a rubber band._

Ellie took a deep breath and dropped the razor in the small garbage can next to the sink. She quickly got dressed and then opened the bathroom door to see Craig sitting on the bed.

"There's another bathroom downstairs if you had to go."

"I know, I didn't have to go. I was just waiting for you. How do you feel, Ellie? Honestly."

She thought long and hard and then forced her lips into a smile. "Strong...I feel strong."


End file.
